Randomness

Warning: Engrish Ahead!

Here are some random pictures from the last few weeks. The first one is a student's bag. It reads: 'Hello Kitty: My room is full of fun things! Come over! Let's play together!' Slow down Kitty-chan, I don't know you that well...

Sweater from an Osaka high-fashion boutique. Reads: 'KISS ME MY MOUTH IS (peace sign) FILLED.' Doesn't this company have an English fact-checker to tell them that sounds like some disgusting sex act?!?! 5 out of 5 friends I showed this to didn't even see the peace sign. Sweater FAIL.

Here is some bread I made on our school field trip. The smiley-face guy up top is a Japanese cartoon character named 'Anpanman', you can google him to find out what he really looks like. The Japanese word for bread is 'pan', borrowed from the Spanish. The bottom is an x-mas tree, and the things on the left are just formless pastries.

I'm not even sure I can do this one justice. The students were supposed to translate sentences from Japanese to English. The correct sentence should have read, 'I crossed the new bridge yesterday'. Instead, she somehow came up with I MOVED THE NEW POON YESTERDAY. I can undertand 'moved' instead of 'crossed', but 'poon'?!?! What the hell? I think this young lady needs a stern talking to and some soap to clean out her mouth!

English Papers

A big part of my job is correcting essays that my 2nd year students do in Writing class. My kids probably aren't the best English students in the world, but they still try to get some pretty complex points across in their essays. Almost all of them own electronic dictionaries, where they can put Japanese Kanji characters in and get translations on words and phrases. The dictionary gets stumped a lot, and spits out some hilarious stuff a majority of the time. Here are some examples of funny dictionary-influenced writing.

"The person left (after war) is very spicy." Huh?


This girl respects my motor nerves. I can't say I've ever received that compliment before, nor am I likely to get it again.


Actually this one is just adorable. Also "I long am long for because I am short". Next lesson: why you shouldn't use the term "long for" to refer to another person.

Weed.

Weed. Japan loves it. Not smoking it, growing it, or possessing it mind you; just the idea of it. Marijuana is one of Japanese people's favorite decorative items. My teachers and students' mothers have pot-leaf air fresheners in their car. My students have weed-themed pencil boxes. In a country where getting caught with trace amounts of pot lands you in jail for a minimum of 5 years and smoking the stuff is paramount to social suicide, it's kind of hard to understand how the theme became so popular or widely accepted. The leading gaijin (foreigner) theory on the subject is this: Japanese people love Jamaica. They love reggae music, Bob Marley, Jamaican flags, everything. Apparently somewhere along the way some Japanese person saw the aforementioned Jamaican stuff associated with a funny looking leaf. They then started putting said funny looking leaf on t-shirts, baby bottles, etc. According to those who have lived here a while, no Japanese people even realize that it's a marijuana leaf! They just think it's some kind of Jamaican icon (which I guess it is...) Hilarious.

Here are some example pictures for y'all:

Here are some "decorative bongs" from our local Jamaican restaurant on the left, and their sign with prominent weed leaves on the right.

Here is a CHILD SIZED pot leaf t-shirt! Notice the sign above the shirt that says "KID's".

Last but not least, no poser Japanese Rasta's collection would be complete without a "Leealise It" sign from the local weed clothing store.